Memorial Day lost it's meaning?

   I always thought Memorial Day was a time to honor and remember the men and women who have died to protect our country. This no longer seems to be true for most people. Memorial Day has now turned into a reason for people to have a long weekend. For the majority of the population it is not spent visiting a cemetery and gracing these fallen heros with a gesture of flowers. In fact we now honor them by sleeping in late and sponging as much food and alcohol as we possibly can.
   So how did it get this way? It's simple, we're a selfish society, with a short attention span for importance. Sure  briefly after any war this holiday has meaning and then soon after our dementia kicks in. We only have ourselves to blame...we just don't care about anyone else but ourselves.
  There is only one way to solve this problem. Switch the day it lays on. Eliminate the opportunity for our memory to slack off. Place it in the middle of the week, this way people are forced to acknowledge the meaning without only thinking of partying. To bad this will never happen, consumers spend way to much money being gluttons on memorial weekend. In the end...money will always topple memory.

Celeb Death Plague Continues

Unlike Gary Coleman, the latest celeb death is much more memorable. Dennis Hopper passes away of prostate cancer at the age of 74. I don't mean to belittle Mr. Coleman but Dennis hopper was a good actor who truly deserved to be called a "actor". He was a rebel on and off screen, while never deviating. It's hard to fathom that a man who consumed more alcohol and drugs then most junkies in lifetime would go down from balls cancer. To Mr. Hopper I say Don't go on the bus or drive that motorcycle past 1960's hillbillies. <-----pitiful movies references

Another Dead Celeb

Is it me or does it seem like the black plague is striking the celebrity nation. So many famous individuals appear to be dieing lately. The most recent seems to be Gary Coleman from the 70's show "Different Strokes". The only thing he'll probably be remembered for is his quote, "what u talking about Willis". All I have to say is happy trails to you sir.

Commercial Conspiracy?

     Maybe it's just me, but why is it that every TV channel seems to have their commercials on at the same time. I'm one of those people who like to have a back up show on TV that I can flip to when a commercial pops on. Although lately what seems to be a united stand by cable to allow me to do this has come to an end. Sure this makes sense for the stations, it prevents me from leaving their channel. But is this fair? Maybe this is just a coincidence and it's just happening to me. I know what your thinking right now, who cares. Well I do, this really annoys me when I'm eating, because I'm old fashioned and consider watching television while eating to be a way to enhance family bonding...sarcasm. And for those of you who haven't noticed this ever occurring phenomenon...just wait. I guess at the end of the day I'll have to adapt and enjoy the only commercial that seems to be on TV...the dame progressive insurance girl..."discount".

The Demand

Me and my friend made this horrible short clip, it consists of a phone conversation between a kidnapper and the victims father...enjoy.

Checkers Indeed

     Who could have imagined that the game checkers has been around since 3000B.C. This is a great game that allows even a 4 year old to best an opponent much older. It's a game that looks like no strategy is needed when in fact there is.
     For one thing who can deny the pleasure of a triple hope, or love the feeling of saying "king me". Me and my friend entrenched ourselves in a battle of checkers today...and let's just say I should have won. I had two kings to his one and I still lost...I blame it on the motions of the game.
     This is a game that is often compared to chess, but let's be serious checkers is...much better. All I have to say is, I'd rather say king me then check mate.

Beer VS Liquor

Beer versus' liquor is a age old question. Which one is better? For me the answer is beer. Don't get me wrong liquor has it's benefits as far as making you look a lot better to the ladies. But, it's a liver killer and you never know where you're at as far as the level of intoxication that comes over you. It's kinda like a tsunami, you don't see it coming until it's to late and that's when trouble starts for the neighbors pet. With beer your able to see the storm coming and avoid it. As I said earlier liquor does lower a girls expectations...but it also lowers yours, allowing for a troubling morning. For those of you who choose beer...good call. For those of you who pick liquor, then I say good luck with no liver and possibly waking up to a transexual...and a new need for therapy.

Why does grass grow?

What is the reason for grass growing? I could see if your yard was full of cattle, but it's not. In my opinion grass should only grow to a length which prevents the need to mow the lawn. It's as if the yard fairy keeps rubbing Rogain through out it. I'm being driven to thoughts of owning my own goats. Although I really don't want to be the guy on the street with goats...I don't want to be the goat guy. The goat guy is more pathetic then the cat lady. What annoys me on top of this whole excessive grass growing would be the fact that every time I mow the lawn a rock always seems to pop out from under the mower and find it's way to hitting me right in the forehead. To conclude...I loath grass.

Losing something on prom night?

     It's that time of year for all high school virgins to remove that status, that's right it's prom season. Every father imaginable will now add on a new kind of stress, will my daughter be "good".
     This is what every boy has been planning and looking ahead to. First he has to get a tux and find a semi pretty girl that has the possibilities to put out. The ones who landed a girlfriend early on in the year don't have to worry to much, odds are they've all ready experienced crossing the finish line. Second, he now has to find a final destination for after prom "activities". Generally this location is a very seedy motel, because there's nothing like a low class atmosphere to make that girl feel comfortable. Here's a statistic for you, I'm guessing 1 out of every 5 of these kids forgets to wear a condom. And thus carrying on the tradition of teenage pregnancy. Now for another made up statistic, 1 out of every 10 of these kids will lie about "going all the way" on prom night.
     A little advice for all the dads out there who need to know if their daughter is still innocent after this lovely night:
1. If she's out all night, she's no longer a virgin.
2. If she's going with the football captain, she's not a virgin...or bright as well.
3. If she walks in some what early with a disapointed look on her face, she's no longer a virgin...and her date   was rather quick at it.
4. If she walks in wobbling, she lost two versions of virginity.
5. If she lets you know ahead of time that she is staying over her best friends house, then she went on a fake prom date and experiencing her bi-sexual thoughts with her best friend...and is no longer a virgin.
     In closing, happy prom night to all you fathers out there.

Field of Dreams Residence Anyone?

Can you believe the iconic home from the Field of Dreams movie is up for sale? Now try to imagine the price...5.4 million dollars! I wonder if it comes with the 1919 White Sox. Do they really think that someone will bite on that price in a economy where Nicolas Cage can't even afford to keep his home. Why can't the voice in the sky tell the home owners "if you lower, it will sell". I guess the owner is fed up with a bunch of drunk an unruly baseball players coming out of their corn field. At the end of the day it's a unique home but way over priced.

Kendra Wilkinson Sex Tape

Here's some shocking news, another celebrity sex tape is being leaked out. Kendra Wilkinson the former playboy playmate and star of a pointless reality show apparently is the latest celebrity to be bitten by the sex tape bug. At least this one will be classy, one of the porn giants Vivid has their hands on it...wait did I really say classy. Well at least she is following the same path as other important individuals like Paris Hilton, sorry I meant to say useless not important. All I'm hoping for is some good acting in this video.

Walking through a web.

   Why do spiders always make a web directly in the path that we choose to walk in?
   For one thing I hate and fear them and secondly they bite.
   I was walking alongside my fence and shed yesterday...which is prime real estate for these beasts and bam a darn spider web. After realizing this I did what every "man" does...screamed and ran around like a nut job. The fact that I have to react this way baffles me. I'm sure we all know that this isn't the end of this "great" time. The web always remains on you after you react and knowing this leads me to believe that the spider is still lurking on my body some where. Which in all likely hood wasn't even on the web anyways. So now comes a new reaction...the spinning in a circle and inspecting every part of your body. As soon as your calmed down and realize the spider is no where to be found you begin to hope know one witnessed the whole scene. At the end of the day boo to spiders.

Is Maxim confused?

Maxim recently published their hot 100 list and I'm a big confused. How is Katy Perry number one on their list? Sure she is kinda hot but really, prettier than Megan Fox. And how the heck is Ke$ha on the list, she looks like a female John Travolta. Also, I find it really hard to respect any women who can stand Russell Brand.

Bees in Cars

Why do bees always find a way to fly into the open window of your car when your in hot pursuit to go somewhere? I'm allergic to them and have a hidden suspicion that they hate me. Then again I feel that most insects hate me for some odd reason. Anyways, there really is no solution to the bee in car scenario once there in the moving car. For one your hands are on the wheel, thus allowing you defenseless barring you have mind powers...but I'm not a marvel hero. Second, you cant talk it out of the car. If a negotiation was possible I wouldn't know what to say. I'm going to invent something...wow I'm so motivated right now.

Can the elderly host a show?

I'll be honest, until tonight I rarely get excited to watch an episode of Saturday Night Live. Betty White is gearing up to host this weeks show. At age 88 she will be the oldest host yet. Now I only periodically watch the show and it's really just to see the digital shorts. But tonight i want to see Betty White excel which I expect her to. It also doesn't hurt to have Jay-Z perform, who could be the only rap artist that I can stand. I guess we'll see how the former Golden Girls actress performs. Tonight will be one pf the few times a cheer for the elderly...I hope she can remember her lines.

Mothers Day?

Sunday is Mothers Day which has me thinking. Why is it on a certain day of the year? To me this holiday is different for every mother. Shouldn't mothers day be based on your child's birthday, because technically that is the day you become a mother. This would make sense, you could kill two birds with one stone. Than again this would allow more then one mothers day for some. Should we have a "you can't be a mothers day" also? I mean there are women out there who can't have a child, so in a way they are getting ripped off and given a reason to be depressed about. I say heck with mothers and fathers day, big whoop your semen and ovaries work...who cares.

Lawrence Taylor sexually sacking little girls?

Lawrence Taylor has long struggled against the addictive grip of drugs, but now is allegedly taking on 16 year old girls. According to ESPN a 16 year old girl was delivered to Mr. Taylor at the Holiday Inn and sexually assaulted. The good thing is she got paid 300 bucks. This is why I refuse to stay at a Holiday Inn, to much underage sexual assaults. I guess she didn't see LT blitzing and really took a hit. One can only wonder what life has in store for LT, maybe he'll start a cult...hmmm.

Cows and Horses Horny?

A quick video from me and my friend...and yes we we're really bored.

Is it safe to fish?

Why do people choose to fish in area's where the water is clearly polluted? I have scene some people throw their pole in some pretty ha-nus rivers. Seeing this makes me wonder, do they catch and release or catch and eat....hmm. Seeing this sparks me to give people a few tips on when not to fish at certain spots.
1. When the area is not inhabitable for mosquitos...you might not want to fish there.
2. When you don't hear a frog...you might not want to fish there.
3. When the water doesn't move...you might not want to fish there.
4. If you don't see a elderly man trying to give advice on how to fish in a area....you might not want to fish there.

Did the King of Pop like a nice "man mop"?

I think it's funny that all the media is talking about right now is whether or not Michael Jackson was gay. Does it really matter? The man did a lot for this world. He brought us great music, which made the world come together at times. Michael Jackson broke the stigma about grabbing your crotch every ten seconds in a music video. He allowed children a chance to spend a night in his bedroom with him, even though they probably had to perform some acts that they may never forget...but still. He showed parents everywhere how to dangle their child over a balcony. He was a pioneer at plastic surgery, showing how bizarre it can actually make you look....we now know to much is to much. So was he gay? My answer would be...who cares! He talked like a girl, loved little boys and grabbed his junk every ten seconds...you put it together.