Losing something on prom night?

     It's that time of year for all high school virgins to remove that status, that's right it's prom season. Every father imaginable will now add on a new kind of stress, will my daughter be "good".
     This is what every boy has been planning and looking ahead to. First he has to get a tux and find a semi pretty girl that has the possibilities to put out. The ones who landed a girlfriend early on in the year don't have to worry to much, odds are they've all ready experienced crossing the finish line. Second, he now has to find a final destination for after prom "activities". Generally this location is a very seedy motel, because there's nothing like a low class atmosphere to make that girl feel comfortable. Here's a statistic for you, I'm guessing 1 out of every 5 of these kids forgets to wear a condom. And thus carrying on the tradition of teenage pregnancy. Now for another made up statistic, 1 out of every 10 of these kids will lie about "going all the way" on prom night.
     A little advice for all the dads out there who need to know if their daughter is still innocent after this lovely night:
1. If she's out all night, she's no longer a virgin.
2. If she's going with the football captain, she's not a virgin...or bright as well.
3. If she walks in some what early with a disapointed look on her face, she's no longer a virgin...and her date   was rather quick at it.
4. If she walks in wobbling, she lost two versions of virginity.
5. If she lets you know ahead of time that she is staying over her best friends house, then she went on a fake prom date and experiencing her bi-sexual thoughts with her best friend...and is no longer a virgin.
     In closing, happy prom night to all you fathers out there.