Friday, April 30, 2010

Olympic Stripping

I came across an article about a Chinese athlete being stripped of a 2000 bronze Olympic medal recently. Dong Fangxiao which is a female athlete just to help you out regarding the gender, because this name does not allow you to decipher whether they are male or female. Apparently she was 14 at the time, but the minimum age for gymnasts to compete is 16. What I don't get is why we have to take her medal away. Shouldn't she get an extra medal for being younger and still winning. Now I'm not trying to be racist but it is really hard to gage how old a chinese girl is between the ages of 10 and 29. To sum it up, Dong should get a double medal.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

How does the idiot cross the road?

I realized something today, there is a good amount of people who don't know how to cross a street. Listen, it's really easy, just look both ways and if the coast is clear...cross the road. To help many of you out I will explain the incorrect ways many of you choose.

1. If a car is near you...hurry, don't continue at a annoyingly slow pace.
2. Don't do the pointless two foot run and then continue to walk.
3. Walking into the road without looking and talking on your cell phone is another negative.

If you are an individual who crosses the road in one of these ways then all I have to say to you is, "I hope you get hit by a car".

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Stare to stop Solor Flare

It's time to readjust your telescope from it's fixed view of your hot neighbors bedroom and into the sky. Our planet needs saving from sun storms before they cause damage to earth. The Royal Observatory in Greenwich, London is asking for a few hours of your time to view the sun. All you need to do is log on at www.solarstormwatch.com.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Tito Ortiz vs Jenna Jameson

Who would win a fight between a UFC fighter and a porn star? I guess police were called to the homestead of Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson monday morning. This is appearing to be a case of domestic violence. Her body has taken a sexual pounding from men for the past 10 years, now it's taking violent pounding as well. See what happens when you pick a career like legal prostitution ladies. I'm sure other UFC fighters will be thinking a lot less of Tito now that he is choosing women as sparring partners.

Hugh Heftner to the Rescue


With the ever growing fear that the Hollywood sign's location would soon be swarmed with luxury homes a group of fundraisers collected the needed 12.5 millions dollars needed to purchase 138 acres that sites behind it. The group received a 900 thousand dollar donation from a legend...Hugh Heftner, thus allowing his continuous climb up the mountain to sainthood. We will no longer think of him as just a developer of great "assets", but also a true hero.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

End of the World?

Our world is going to be either a world full of ice or extremely hot. With this said, I believe this world will end eventually...but it's physical outcome makes me wonder. Given this do we really need to put our hopes in theories? The most recent opinion is 2012...but doubtful. Our computers didn't crash leaving our society in chaos like we we're led to believe in 2000. We will always have people who will predict the end of civilization(who are really profit seekers), who copy information from society's who reached the level of our third world countries. In my opinion we should focus more on our present state and less on comic book thoughts.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Lindsay Jobless Lohan

Well it's official Lindsay has been fired from the only movie chance she has had since 07's "I know who killed me". It's a shame she got an opportunity to star in a movie with a rejuvenated Woody Harrelson. She really needs some kind of help, either for her drug addictions or mental state. But lets be honest how do you get help when you have the parents she has. I don't want to be mean but her next stop is either prostitution or suicide. Well cheers to you miss has been and current miss washed up.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Nerd News


Sad news for Trekkies around the world. A man who was a hero to so many people who only left their room  for movie releases and conventions has retired. That's right none other then Leonard Nimoy, also known as Spock from the hit TV series and movies Star Trek. Who can blame him? The man is 79 years old and is type casted to play characters with pointy ears and cool hand gestures. I guess it's only a matter of time before Chewbaka retires as well.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Sports-Classics Skit on Saturday Night Live


I was watching Saturday Night Live this weekend and I saw the funniest clip. The commercial that was being plugged by the two announcers (Will Forte and Jason Sudeikis) was hillarious. Although, I haven't been as big of a fan as I used to, I have to say with the digital shorts and some strong characters lately I feel the show might be getting it's act together again. You can check out more clips at www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Larry King of Marriages

Despite having a ton of money and very classy suspenders, he just can't make a marriage last. Mr. King is now going on his sixth divorce. When will he realize that these women are not wedding him for his bat like looks. But I guess there is hope for his current marriage, they are currently going to counseling. Now that I think about it this just makes me laugh, does he really think a counselor can talk her into thinking he isn't pushing 95 years old. But I do have to solute you Larry King, you are proving that a old man with a need to wear suspenders can get a lot of ass baring your worth a ton of money....so here's to you cheers.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Facebook Annoying?

Why is facebook so annoying, well really it's not facebook but the crud that people have to force people to read. Once a week I am going to add a pointless phrase that people leave and pray they stop. My first pointless phrase is, " at the gym". For real, do you think anyone cares? We don't need these idiotic updates. Great your at the gym, do we need to know? Go to the gym and shut up about it! These pointless updates drive me nutes and I'm sure everyone else.I have a million more of these so stay tunned.

ESPN Streak

Has anyone else played the beat the streak contest on ESPN? IF you haven't and are a sports fan then I suggest you give it a shot. They give you a few select games each day and you pic one or more as soon as the gma efor your first pic has finished. The person with the longest win streak each month wins a 100K. Even if your not a sports fan try it anyways, it doesn't hurt to make a ten second guess to win some money. Go to http://espn.go.com/ and in the middle of the main page will show a link to it.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Who is the better Robin Hood?


I was looking at trailors for upcomming movies and came across Robin Hood. I guess Russell Crowe is starring in the soon to be released movie. It looks ok, but come on really, do they think they can make a better version then Kevin Costners. In my opinion you should have to waite at least 30 years before making a remake. But I guess Hollywood is running out of idea's and regurgitating past ideas. But then again I could be wrong and this could be a box office hit.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Brian Regan


I don't know if any of you have heard of him but this is by far my favorite stand up comedian Brian Regan. This guy is so hillarious and witty, check him out.

Why is Kate Gosselin so interesting to people? How bored is our society , people spend to much time paying attention to this pointless individual. The only thing she can do right is give birth to way to many kids...eight of them...he vagina was like a assembly line. She was on the show I loath...Dancing with the Stars...hmmm "stars". She is on so much crap right now that it makes me wonder how much time she spends with her kids. I would think eight kids should take up a whole days worth of attention...but not for her. Than again I'm sure it's easy to pawn your children off to a few nannies. She was on the Jay "moon chin" Leno show recently(he clearly can't get anyone to go on his horrid show) and was asked what her ex's job was and she didn't know. Is she that unaware of what is going on in her life. To sum things up, I think this lady is pointless and perplexed as to how she is blowing up every where.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Sardinless?

Well, I just read some sad news, the last sardine cannery in the US has been shut down. There is now a limited amount of herring that fishermen are allowed to catch and a company can't survive on having restrictions on their production. Keep in mind this isn't the only reason, sales have slowed down dramatically since people began to realize two things: they are kinda gross and who wants to eat a slimy half fish out of a small can while avoiding that stupid bone inside it.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

A life gamble when buying a car?


Why is it that every time I read the news a different car model is now considered dangerous. Currently the Lexus GX 460 is being labeled by the "consumer reports" as unsafe. Are the three stooges designing and building our automobiles. Recently Toyotas were a crap shoot to drive with their out of the blue acceleration. It's getting to the point where it's safer to drive a military vehicle in Iraq then you do of buying and cruising away from the car lot with a new car.
Although, we have to put a little of the blame on ourselves, we're coming to a point where we can't drive a car unless there is as much electrical capabilities as the Star Ship Enterprise from Star Trek. We used to be able to navigate the seas by use of the stars, now we can't even navigate streets without GPS. How dependent will we become?

Saturday, April 10, 2010

A drunk friend.

Why is it that whenever a friend is really drunk they have to fall on the ground and spend some time down their. And it is not a normal stay on the ground, it's a 25 minute visit of struggling and yelling.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Dancing with the Useless

I'm wondering why they don't rename this show. In my opinion they should change the name to " Last Chance for C-List Celebs to be on TV".

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Nice weather has arrived..

You know the weather is officially here when you have that first really nice day out and every one is outside doing yard work. I think as a society we are universally conditioned to do yard work on the first nice day of the year. Another way to determine it's arrival is by the abundance of children outside. It's comparable to bees swarming out of their hive. This must be a national holiday for parents.